Chaotic Passion

Hello ladies and gents, I hope you’re well, happy and healthy in all good things. Though not a blogger by design, I do find myself writing this for catharsis. Perhaps in the chaos of my life experience, it may touch, encourage or even minister to someone in the process. If you forget all else from this, remember this one point; God is not a God of accident, but of order and design. This will spare you many a heartache and questions leading to no where. However, it does not mean that our lives are not subject to chaos from our perspective. One comforting thought from Ps 139:12 is that darkness is as light to God. What seems murky, dark, and uncertain to me, are quite clear to God. He knows the matter from inception to completion and beyond. It certainly makes life a lot more digestible at times.
So what chaos or turmoil do I speak of? For some such as my self, it may be an emotional earthquake. To some, perhaps divorce. To others, may be the long road to recovery from an abusive relationship. Not to mention financial crisis and many other disasters. Chaos by nature is the result of life’s crushing. So some may say, “Why the crushing?” I mean after all, being crushed creates much havoc and pain in our lives. Not to mention the jagged pieces of heart to be picked up in the aftermath of its tornadic path. I mean truthfully, how many of us schedule a midlife crisis sometime after lunch at 1:45 PM? It just does not happen. Such is the random nature of chaos. You may feel its tremors initially, but when it strikes, it rattles your world, blurs your priorities, and even leaves you feeling helpless along the way. One thing for sure though, chaos certainly knows the element of surprise.
But just as violent volcanic eruptions create rich soil, and crushed flowers a beautiful fragrance; the results of chaos too can be manifold and beautiful. Pain is often times the result of chaos. And pain serves as a not so wonderful reminder of the fact that we’re alive. But where there is life, there is passion. And where there is passion, there is pursuit. Ever feel like chasing God lately? Pain can very easily drive you there if you let it. And the result of all this is growth and maturity. Think about it, the very things that seemed to destroy you at first, actually make you stronger. While in this passionate pursuit, old habits and excess baggage lie in the ruins of a previous life. We are in fact moving from “glory to glory.”
As for myself? I’m pursuing God with more reckless abandonment than ever before. It’s not always neat, but downright sloppy sometimes. A lot of tears and tissues. And when the view forward is blurry, I look upward. Mistakes are made, regrets had, but all in all God is merciful. His presence is the calm in my chaos. May he be your calm in the storm as well. God bless….Tommy Job